07-08-2025
Do you remember what it was like being a teenager? Every teenager or young person goes through the awkward stages of learning how to communicate and interact well with others. For some, the confidence needed to be an effective communicator comes easily. For others, even as they enter adulthood, they are still working on showing more confidence and approachability when they speak, whether in social or business settings.
In our tech-driven world, which promotes solo time on devices, the opportunity to practice in-person interactional communication is less frequent. Many people are suffering from a lack of good communication skills and the confidence to practice developing those skills. If this is you or someone you know — don’t worry. In this post I will outline three ways to show more confidence and approachability when communicating. This post is for anyone, no matter their communication skill level.
We live in a world where people like to talk, but listening is a lost skill. When we really listen to other people they feel heard, valued and understood. Those people will seek out good listeners more for future conversations. So, make active listening a priority and people will want to talk to you.
When you do speak, speak briefly. Don’t go on and on. Brevity is a skill that can be honed and one that people you are communicating with will appreciate. Keep stories short and get to the point as quickly as possible. This allows others to ask questions and participate more in the conversation. It also keeps the other person interested and wanting to talk more because they are getting a chance to speak.
When you are speaking with others always try to be fully present and practice good nonverbal communication, including consistent eye contact. We are more likely to trust people who maintain good eye contact when we are interacting. A lack of eye contact can give others the wrong impression. It may make them feel like the person doesn’t want to speak with them.
Always be mindful of your body language, such as your facial expressions. Try to smile some when you are speaking. It shows positive engagement. Also, turn your body towards the person you are speaking to because it shows your full attention is on them.
If people have a choice between speaking with a calm, kind person and someone who is more bombastic and has an uneven temper, it is not hard to guess who people will choose. A person’s demeanor leaves a lasting impact on others. A calm temper shows an ability to control emotions. This discipline is desirable in others because people who can remain calm can often be relied on to make better decisions. They can focus on what matters and think logically despite the emotions they may have or others are showing around them.
Kindness is also a quality people appreciate in others because it shows respect. It’s not difficult to be kind, but often people struggle with it due to a lack of patience, or stress, or indifference for others. Choosing kindness also shows discipline and an ability to control emotions. Confident people are often kind while arrogant people are often unkind. If we have a choice about who to work with, we will choose kind (confident) people over unkind (arrogant) people.
Don’t mistake kindness for weakness. It is not. In fact, kindness is more of a superpower because with it comes the ability to influence. Some unkind people may have power and can control resources, but kind people, no matter what their position or title, are more likely to influence others, which can have far reaching effects on people and organizations. Don’t underestimate the power of kindness.
If you want to practice showing more confidence when you communicate and having more positive social or business interactions consider the following:
When you practice these skills you are demonstrating confidence that makes you more approachable and can help build trust and connection with those you interact with.
This blog post is part of a series written by Professor Kasie Roberson. This series is designed to share best practices in business communication. Each article highlights a business communication principle or idea and actionable strategies.
Kasie Roberson is a Clinical Associate Professor in the Department of Organizational Behavior and Human Resources and Associate Director of Outreach and Coaching for the Center for Working Well at the Mitch Daniels School of Business at Purdue University.
A strategic communication expert, executive coach, and award-winning faculty member, Roberson is also the author of “Strategic Business Writing: A People-First Approach.”
If you are interested in scheduling Roberson as a speaker for your organization or company, please contact the Center for Working Well.
This blog post provides general insights and best practices for business communication. It is for informational purposes only and should not be considered coaching, consulting, or professional advice. Neither Professor Kasie Roberson, nor the Mitch Daniels School of Business, nor Purdue University are responsible for how readers apply this information in practice. Readers should use their discretion and seek professional guidance as needed.
